I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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