do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He felt like a one man threesome
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am one with the molecules
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
