the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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