I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
