I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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