he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
