then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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