everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this hospital has no fireball
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
