"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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