he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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