That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
