If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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