it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
