Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
