Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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