I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
