idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
