You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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