Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
