This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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