So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
