Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
