is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
