I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
