i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
