Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
