Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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