And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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