Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He passed out mid-signature
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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