Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
