He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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