Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
