Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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