My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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