I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
...so i touched it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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