he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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