He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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