Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
