thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize