After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
