he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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