Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
