I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
