I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
