She's JV to your varsity
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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