I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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