We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
