he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
