speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you will always have a special place in my vag
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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