it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
