i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
