You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
