White coat. Heels.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
please don't ironically join a cult
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