Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
