respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
