chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
