this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
